I will wait for you my darling and i will wait for you – Carissa Rae & Michael Alvarado (I will wait for you)
A friend of mine once told me when we were in tenth standard, “The Hyundai car company has not even a scratch of metal for my car”. It was a joke, but a dream, till date he has not owned the car that he has been dreaming, but I know someday he will drive the car he truly believes he will. Looking back, life was carefree, simple and fun nothing was so difficult as much as it is now. Everything was going good, results were good as usual; nothing to worry about, life was 10-20 rupees, happiness was with friends and knowing that your parents are happy with you. Staying up late, going about, watching movies, listening to heavy metal bands in tape reorder, CD player is something for the future and for the rich, singing loudly outside playing guitar not exactly knowing whether the chords are where they should rhyme.
Life was full of hopes, expectations were high, dreams were big, everything seems so easy with good percentage. Head held high, gaited like a king, champions thought, extending chest; lungs full of pride, healthy, wealthy, but poor, no war, no foe feeling like a true player in life’s game. Until life opens Pandora’s box. Slowly, but surely things seem not what they meant be or what they seem to be.
Well, we all come across this road, some had passed, some on it and some about to be fooled in believing life is a fairy tale not knowing exactly beyond these realm lie great sorrow and only mountains and mountains to climb for every pages turn. This crossroad has waited for us, giving us hopes, dreams, memories, but only to teach us to struggle for it to get what we once believe we could easily get. And, it is not easy, I know I was there and it takes me years and years to land me up here. Here? Not my final destination though, but on the road of resurrection from state of nothingness to another form of life, self-dependent civilized human. And, this keeps the hope alive, in storm and heavy winds it flickers, but never dead or fades, but alive and steadfast. A determination to continue by grace and land finally to a state of glory to the promise land.
We all waited on something, and the waiting never stops. Once it comes to us, we go on to the next step of waiting and hoping for something new. Grow up, go to school, go to college, graduate, get a job, drive fancy cars, love a woman, have kids, loving family, a big house, satisfying job, make parents happy, live for a long time, see our kids grow and to die in peace, loved and cared. For years and years I waited and prayed, asking God to answer my prayers so that could go to Med. School and finally after a long wait and much prayer he made part of my dreams a reality. But it didn’t stop here, I am on to a new mission, waiting and praying for something else bigger, higher dream, new hopes with a zeal to perfectly execute them.
Sometimes I wonder, do I dream too big? Will I be able to accomplish these dreams? The answers, I can’t give them all now, but one thing I know for sure, I will only if I persevere. But the road to it is not lace in ribbon lining nor is straight and appealing. It is neither better than anybody’s road because no one, but I willl walk on this road alone. I will have to take this road. This is when dreams really matters. Some quit on the way, some stray from it. Me? Will I quit half of the way? Do I really have what it takes to be the person to make these dreams change it into a reality? Or is it just a good dream that I dreamt and never will it be a reality. And, I just don’t want to be a dreamer all alone where all around people are making their life’s interesting. And, be part of the other group wishing if only they tried and start all over again. I don’t want myself to end on the other bench with “LOSER” inscribe on the back of my jersey.
We all wait something interesting or amazing to happen in our live. What if the waiting really never stops or it never happens?
A few nights ago I was on the phone with a friend discussing, “Which type of relationship have the chance of getting successful ‘BEFORE’ or ‘AFTER’ having reached our goal?” He was totally into ‘BEFORE’ relationship. And, he could offer a legitimate reasons why he prefers the ‘BEFORE’ relationship. One of the reasons I digested so well and truly believed was, “Why be in a relationship only after having a job, that’s when you will not be loved of who you are, but because of what you are?”. Then he continues, once you are behind your own desk you don’t need to stretch your neck to seek for girl, they will come to you. Looking at myself on the mirror that very moment, I was skeptical and very doubtful about it because I know my looks. And, me being a doctor will not change any scare from my body or for that matter anything. I told him I wanted to be loved not because of what I will have or the degree I will graduate with, but because she believes me and understands me because of who I am. I think that was the first topic we both agreed on to the same options.
Quite a discussion for a guy like us who don’t even graduate, and most of all with our looks, great guts you might say, I thought this topic will never resurface, but it eventually did. Anyway, we all have our own desires, plan for the future, the reason to stay alive and keep on climbing no matter how high or steep it is. Hopes keep us alive, driving force when weaken, dreams keep us struggling even when everyone quits.
Our dreams and hopes stay put for us to struggle and grab it to enjoy what it has in store for us. So, as I am struggling for us, for our future, all I want you to do is enjoy life the best way you could. But remember this, I have marked you and you are saved in my heart, no matter what age gap we are or how far we might be apart, love is the same. As I have always told you, “I will move heaven and hell and anything in between to get to you.” Until then i will wait for you 🙂
“No one can choose who they fall for or when the fall, or how they fall, or why I? Well I fell for you and must I wait. It’s only a matter of time..” –Carissa Rae & Michael Alvarado (I will wait for you)