If I have a den full of big fat dogs for food I will consider myself a millionaire- Author
One of the first questions your friends back home will ask you after you stayed away from home (Vai-Ram) is how many dogs (street dog) you have killed. I have been staying in Jorhat from 2010 and August of this year will complete my three years stay and I have killed none. This killing dog thing is some way to prove to your friends (not necessarily to elders, parents or sisters) back home that you are really outside the state and it’s embarrassing to tell them you have not. I used to think this as same as some kind of African tribal rituals to prove a boy is a man or a gang initiation to let them know that you are part of them. So I made a mental note that the next time I have the chance I will not miss it!
A few months back the bitch in our hostel gave birth to four good puppies. We were so happy, we knew this time for sure one of them is going to die and the graveyard will be our stomach because we don’t want them to die and rot away in the drain infested with flies and be smelly. We kept on waiting for them to grow. We did our best in giving them the leftover food we ate and even letting them sleep in our room doormat. This is how much we love dogs, Oh! I mean their meat.
After one grueling month (June) of theory exams, practical exams and viva we finished our exams two days ago. It was like I am in my human form again, full battery recharge, active reload, many of our friends went home for one week holiday. Few of us stayed back, not that we don’t miss home or friends actually, but we have something to do to pass our rights of staying out of the state. So, Saturday was the night we planned our moves. I bet it was not easy to catch a dog. After like two hours of transforming ourselves into ninja, we finally caught one.
Why is us for the love of God we love dog meat so much? Is it really called dog meat? Is it called “fragrant meat” or “mutton of the earth” as by the Chinese or “blockade mutton” as by the Germans. Is it “gaegogi“ as the way Koreans called it? I don’t know and I don’t care, what I care the most is the taste of it, the smell of the blood gushing out from the neck when we cut. The aroma of the burnt hairs when blown with a blow lamp it was exciting and fun.
The way we killed, better not describe it because it was way passed barbaric, it was torturous. Why? Because I want to see with my eyes whether what I learnt in forensic was true. According to it I told my junior who helped me during the ordeal, an animal (including men) when murdered there will be feces and urine involuntarily discharged, but in suicide these two are less uncommon, but there will be semen. Which according to forensic experts is one of the best ways to know whether it was murder or suicide (by hanging). And, yes, what that lousy book wrote about it was true there was a lot of dog shit. Oh! Boy it stinks and shit all over my hands and my room all the while the urine was flowing east-west-north-south!
The brand new blow lamp was not working with us just fine, the winds blowing from every direction to blow off the lamp with mosquitoes and flies couple with my very bad back ache makes everything difficult. But we didn’t quit there we spent the whole night burning off the hairs, it was difficult because what we expect the blow lamp to work like the exhaust of NASA’s rocket works like the exhaust of a steam motor exhaust. It was tiring, but paid off early in the morning. And, to hell I swear how much I hate the water department in our college that early morning there was not even a single drop of water in the shower to even wash our hands!
We went straight to sleep, woke up at noon 12:30PM. We can’t cook in the hostel so we went to u Darsuo’s house that Intelligence Bureau (IB) boss in Jorhat, u Kapa the ONGC Senior geophysicist picked us up by his car (I know they will not like their names here, but please don’t tell them about this and if you see this sorry). It was as usual one hot day, but one of the best days of our lives at least for me. We enjoyed it! Since dog meat has been my personal favorite, I was so eager to grab one and bite the meat out of the bones, I actually can’t contain it. U Darsuo cooked it, he added all the ingredients, salt, ginger, turmeric, garlic, local made spices, water and most of all his favorite chili and it smells so good I would like to buy if there is a room freshener like that smell. I guarantee that was the smell that will get the dog eating people out of their chairs and stand in awe. Just smelling it will make your mouth water! Sorry I can’t write it more because if I do I will have to go search for another dog to kill and be a real serial dog killer and not me anymore actually I am craving for it right now.
About the meat, it’s tough, bloody, a bit stringy, taste well most of all the skin with the fats. By the way, we discarded the intestines except the liver because you never know what that dog ate for his last meal, what if we find, that bloody thing like my friends did in Gauhati? Compared to chicken or pork the last are much easier to chew and swallow – and pork and beef OK even mutton is as tasteless as compared to dog meat. Pork is great. Dog meat? Way far better than pork and if I exaggerate a bit more, it is the best God given meat in the whole planet. Yesterday I forget I am on a diet, after eating I could not move for a while it was hot and so good.
OK, some of you empty vessels will sound much noise because of the topic I used, it sounds like and looks like Handel’s “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain”. Yeah, I took it from that (excerpt). What is the harm in copying something good, then accusing someone of somebody else without a proof and defaming his name. You sons of bitches I hope you die and burn in hell. If you don’t want to study that’s just fine, but think at least of something for yourselves like what you will do with your life after five years from now.
I know it is what like you losers do sitting around talking rubbish, naming names thinking yourselves as the highest in the intellectual world, but what good will it do for your future? I would like to see us in the future actually I am eagerly waiting for it. Since I am not like anyone of you I want you to remember, “Empty Vessels Make The Most Sound” Our interests are different, your interest doesn’t interest me. I hope your monkey brain could grab what I mean! And if you are really the son of a bitch that you always represent remember you are my next menu!
What is taboo for one culture is tradition for another (?). Many places all over the world will experience agonizing rites of passage in order to prove their faith, dexterity and maturity, even at the risk of extreme pain. The dreadful sensation is worth it, considering the perks that come with passing an initiation. Generally, girls become women and are now ready to marry, while boys evolve into men, eager to be treated as adults and be considered valuable members of the community.
I know in the name of all that is holy this one is different, but I have passed this too. Now I can proudly answer when I am asked the taste of a street dog, it was delicious! Now I can proudly say I am grateful to the dog who was slain for us to pass our rights. Somebody will miss that cute clever dog, but he is resting in a better place now. Worthy is the dog that was slain. Worthy for us!!
(Jorhat, 1st July, 2013)