As I waited for my class today I found myself thinking about you and realized I must be careful when thinking about you, if you exist I mean. The reasons I need to be careful is just simple: I am afraid that I might make you an idol or think that you are perfect. I must know that just like me you have flaws. Oh beautiful and precious flaws that I would not want to change because they make you you. Also, I am afraid to think and make you into something you’re not.
I’m writing this letter to help you understand what I’ve been thinking about and why. I probably don’t know all the right things to say right now, but my feelings and words are from the heart. I know it sounds crazy, but I picture you – your smile, the way you pull your hair behind your ear, your wonderful laugh, even when my jokes aren’t funny. I can’t help but wonder what our children will look like. It hurts a little not to know who you are and not to be with you, but I can live with that for now, because I know that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. The thought of you keeps my mind and heart racing with anticipation, because I know you’re out there. Because the very thought of you makes my pulse race, my palms sweat, my stomach flip like I’m on a roller coaster.
Actually I find myself thinking about you more and more. Inside the class today I was wondering where you are, what you’re thinking and doing. In the midst of it all – the thought of you calms and refreshes me – makes me smile, in spite of my situation and surroundings. The very idea of you provides a much needed break from the pressures of dating, relationships and life. And loving you, without ever having met you or know you, makes me want to be deserving of your love. So I wait for you – in mind, body, and soul.
Let me tell you something, our lives won’t be fairy tales, but I can promise you they will be real, fill with pains, heartaches and crap. We will have fights and arguments, and I will be irritated and irritating. It will not be easy, but let me tell you this you will be loved? Is that not what everybody is looking for?. You may have been waiting and looking for me all the while. You may be starting today. Either way, we’ll know when we’ve found each other; we’ll be together for the rest of our lives and the wait will have been worthwhile. I love you my future wife 😉
Your Future Husband
(Jorhat, 30th October, 2013)